Did you have a rough time in high school and/or college? Were you struggling to define yourself, and that very struggle robbed you of confidence sometimes? Did you see certain people that looked like they had that all worked out already? Did you ever wish that some of their confidence could be yours, and that you didn’t have to wallow in such confusion? Well I did.
But now I seen the lives of a few of those people gone to seed. I had a mentor in college who didn’t seem to struggle with those kind of issues like I did, but now he doesn’t know who he is. A close kin of mine had to be strong growing up because his parent wasn’t, so he put on airs of confidence in high school and college, and now he’s anchorless and listing. And I think I have a theory as to why.
While you and I were casting about, searching for ourselves in a sea of uncertainty, they busy faking assuredness. This struggle of ours, while painful, taught us to differentiate ourselves from others and the world at large. The practice of struggle continues to give us the strength to keep growing up when new challenges and changes arise. They didn’t have that struggle. By acting like they already had it, they never figured out how to get, and now they don’t even know how to try.
This is just a guess, but it makes me feel better about having felt so lost for so long. Maybe honestly suffering the pangs of adolescence while you’re in it, means that you can one day leave it behind. If so, it’s tough, but it’s worth it.
growing up
